If I really had it my way, there would be some relatives that I would not invite to my wedding. One of them would be my selfish, negative cousin in Brooklyn, his wife, and son. Their marriage is a complete facade; they got married because they were both getting old, and his wife really wanted to have a baby for all the wrong reasons (to fulfill parental/societal pressure, ticking body clock, etc.). Now, they are married, have a child, and are completely miserable together. They were miserable before, but now they are just miserable married. What a happy ending.

They had been putting off RSVPing for our wedding for a long time, partly because I’m sure they didn’t want to come (San Clemente is too far away from Brooklyn, apparently; they even told my aunt that it was too expensive to go, even though they both earn a very comfortable living and are probably in the top 1 percent of earners in this country), and if they chose not to, I probably would have been happier. But in the end, I’m sure his mother guilt tripped him, and he decided to come. And he had to make sure to be difficult about it. Today, he texted me and asked if he could invite his good friend from high school to my wedding.

What kind of grown 42-year-old man who has a wife and toddler asks his younger cousin if he can invite his grown man friend to her wedding?