In most western countries, in the weeks after birth, new moms are attended to with in-home nurse visits, pelvic floor therapy, and attentive medical services. In the U.S., you won’t see your OB until six weeks postpartum, and that will be for, at best, a 10-15 minute visit. Here, she will ask you how you are feeling (are you experiencing postpartum depression?), examine your vagina (or c-section wound, if you had a c-section) to see that the stitches have healed, and basically send you on your way and give you the seal of approval that you can move forth and have sex and exercise once again! It’s pretty ridiculous how basic it is, and it really highlights how little care women get in our society in general.

My doctor said that I was fully healed, which I already knew I was. She asked me what I was doing about birth control, and my gut reaction was to smile and let out a little laugh.

“Abstinence?” I responded, frankly. “I’m so exhausted and sleep deprived that the very last thing on my mind is sex!”

Even though I had technically healed, I didn’t fully feel “normal” down there. I cannot imagine having sex or even putting a tampon into my vagina at this point. How do people have sex in the few weeks after giving birth, and how the fuck do men try to force or guilt their partners to have sex….??? I’ve read too many awful stories about this and it makes me so sick… to my vagina.