Chris and I are spending the long holiday weekend here in Toronto, where his brother Ben currently lives and works. Like Ed and I were before, they are close despite distance and age gap, and they certainly bicker in similar ways. As I get lost in their arguing and bickering back and forth, I suddenly realize that Ed and I will never have another bickering session ever again; we will never agree or disagree or raise our voices at each other. I will never cut him off again when he’s saying something inane, and he will never respond “nothing” again, as he had done in the last few months of his life when I asked him what he was up to. It’s depressing to think about how all the things your sibling once did that annoyed you before when he was still alive can be things you actually learn you miss once they are gone.