I usually don’t tell my mom when Chris goes on work trips. The main reason for this is that she worries when she knows I am by myself in the apartment, and she gets paranoid that someone will break in and kill me. So she also tells me that when Chris takes trips that I shouldn’t go anywhere after work, that I should go straight home, double lock the door, and stay there until it’s time to go to work the next morning. Yep, that’s a fun idea.

The other reason I don’t like to tell her he goes away is that she thinks that when he’s away, it means she gets extra phone time with me. I’ve gradually cut down the phone calls from every single day (really) to about three to four times a week now in an effort to keep my sanity, but she always ends up calling in the evening when she knows he’s away, as she says that “since Chris is away, we have more time to talk.” That’s never a good thing. Why? Because what inevitably happens is that she ends up nitpicking me for some senseless thing (which likely happened months and months ago that I can barely remember even happening), and I tell her she’s being too sensitive or irrational or looking for something to get mad about, and then she yells. Then I yell, then we both yell, and it’s never a good thing.

It happened again last night. She asked me to write her a check a few weeks ago and said it could wait until late May. I asked her what the check was for. She did not appreciate the question. Apparently, questions are not allowed from me. She accused me of being reluctant to give her money when she has raised me and paid for my schooling and that I was ungrateful and “you’ve changed!” “How can you be reluctant when your own mother asks you? I do everything for you!” I never realized that asking what she’s planning to do with the money is another way of saying, “I’m reluctant and I don’t want to give you the money.” Isn’t asking why simply asking why?!

Yes, I’ve changed. I don’t take s*** from her anymore. The way I think hasn’t changed. The way I respond has.