I was at the airport this evening waiting to board my flight back to New York when I was scrolling through my Facebook news feed on my phone to discover that a former colleague’s wife had died earlier this month from lung cancer. She had never smoked in her life. This colleague isn’t just any colleague; he was one of the hiring managers at my last company who decided I was smart enough to work on his team, and so he hired me. The same year I was hired in 2009, he got married. I even remember contributing to their wedding gift from our company. I just can’t believe that just six years and one son later, his wife is gone. They weren’t even married a decade.

As soon as I read his very brief but sincere post announcing his wife’s passing, I felt choked up and had to catch my breath. He posted a photo of her posing from their wedding day, and I felt sick to my stomach. Now, he has to go through life without the love of his life, the mother of their only child, and has to raise this son all on his own.

I haven’t spoken to him since he left my last company, so I felt weird reaching out to him, but I did anyway. I feel sick when I think of all the potential negative things that could face me in the future; there are too many bad things to think about, so I try not to do it. But sometimes I think, losing Ed and the way in which I lost him was so bad that maybe I could face anything now. And perhaps everyone who loses someone so dear them is bonded through their shared despondency. We’re all bonded through our losses.