I’m going to hate every visit to the dentist for the rest of my life.

My dentist today walked me through an X-ray of my teeth. He explained why my teeth are shaped the way they are, and then showed me what my bone structure is supposed to look like versus what it actually looks like. That’s never a good thing. Then, he said that basically everything wrong with my mouth is not because of poor hygiene or diet because he can clearly see I take good care to brush and floss more thoroughly than about 99 percent of his patients, but it’s all because of my grinding problem. Why do I get food stuck in my teeth everywhere so much more than I ever could remember before? Oh, that’s because of my grinding, too, which created those gaps. Strangely, my retainers still fit perfectly. I guess the gaps don’t affect the actual bite structure.

These are all signs of age. And I’m only 28 going on 29 soon.