I’m not sure how you are supposed to act when you are sitting at a dinner table where everyone knows that your brother is gone, but one person doesn’t completely know but seems to think he is just “at work” …or something.

My mom didn’t tell her whole congregation that my brother passed away. In fact, she decided to just tell a select few close friends, who all came to Ed’s service. Her argument was that she didn’t want everyone giving her too much attention and that it would upset her even more. That’s really just code for, “I don’t want to deal with the shame.” The rest of the people in her congregation either do not know, or have heard gossip from “the elders,” and so they do know, but just aren’t allowed to mention it or talk about it openly.

So at dinner last night, I had to sit at a table with someone who frequently offers rides to my mother to and from her Bible study meetings, but he was not informed about what happened to Ed from our family, nor did he attend the service. He also has not acknowledged my brother’s… absence at all. How much more awkward can a dinner table really be?