This week, Chris’s cousin, her husband, and their four-month-old baby are visiting from New Zealand. They are stopping here for a few days and staying with us before heading off to Paris for a quick stop, then taking a train down to Spain for a long walking journey along the Camino de Santiago.
It’s always fun to have family and friends stay over with us, but in this case, there was the added dynamic of having a baby stay with us, plus Pookster’s dynamic with the baby and the baby’s parents. Kaia has always had FOMO even from an early age, so bedtimes have been a been rougher this week with company staying over. But it’s been really sweet to see her interact with baby Harriet. Every day when I’d pick her up from school, she’d ask if baby Harriet would be at home waiting for her. She’d ask if baby Harriet was okay, if she was eating, and if she would go out and play. She’s even asked to bring food home for baby Harriet to eat. I love seeing this caring, affectionate side of my Kaia Pookie.
Having a baby in the house again has also made me reminisce about the early days of Kaia baby. Luckily, Chris’s cousin is able to nurse her baby…. maybe even a bit too well given the baby refuses a bottle. But it made me think about how much I struggled with breastfeeding, how nursing unfortunately was not the way I was able to fully feed Kaia, even though I very much wanted that to be our life, and how I ended up resorting to exclusive pumping, which was likely the very least convenient and most difficult way to feed.
Nothing ever goes out exactly as you envision it or plan. With Chris’s cousin, she ended up having to get an epidural and then an emergency c-section, neither of which she wanted, but all because in the last moments she developed preeclampsia, and the baby got stuck in her canal. And while she did struggle with breastfeeding in the beginning, she had constant in-person lactation support every single day for weeks (god bless New Zealand’s healthcare system), which eventually got Harriet to feed well despite being on the small side. This locked in her milk supply, and thus their breastfeeding journey. So while she didn’t have the birth she ideally wanted, she did have the feeding journey she so desired. I had the birth I wanted, but I didn’t have the feeding journey for Kaia I hoped for. If only things could go exactly as we all wished!
I love hearing other mother’s birth and feeding stories, though. Today, modern mothers are all about sharing and reducing stigma around the stories of giving birth and feeding our babies, and it helps so much to have that perspective and that story telling continue… because, well, these are ultimately the stories of the beginning of our children’s lives, and the beginning of our lives as mothers.