During almost the entire period we had a nanny when Kaia had solids, so from about age 6 months to 16 months, I rarely let the nanny prepare her food. I always prepared her food — breakfast, lunch, dinner, or snacks, and I would have it laid out on Kaia’s silicone dish exactly the way I wanted. The vegetables would be cut a certain way, the protein prepared very specifically, the soup laid out just so. I didn’t feel like I could give instructions to my nanny and trust that she’d actually follow them. I knew she wasn’t since in the beginning, she would mash up food that I wanted Kaia to hold and eat. I’d catch this when I was between meetings and taking bathroom breaks. And from that point onward, the trust was pretty much gone.

But as Kaia gets older, and as more caregivers at school are involved, I realize that I have to let go of a lot of things that I used to be really anal about. Once she started daycare, I couldn’t always control what order she’d have her food in or how warm it was. I couldn’t prevent her from seeing other kids having cinnamon raisin toast or goldfish crackers and not wanting them herself. So after a while, I just stopped thinking about it and insisted to myself she’d be fine; it’s all about balance, right, and a little sugar here or a processed piece of goldfish won’t hurt her?

And now that she’s in a publicly funded 3K class, where all food is included, I am no longer making the majority of her meals while she’s at this school. With her 8:30-2:50 class and afterschool program, she gets three full meals (breakfast, lunch, early supper at 4pm) and a snack. The meals are all prepared and cooked onsite. The menu is a pretty good mix of multiple cultures, has a range of different fruit and vegetables, and incorporates lots of whole grains and whole wheat when applicable. I don’t necessarily love that ham is on the menu once a week, since ham is cured and thus processed, but again, I have told myself I have to stop nitpicking and just let some things go. So while I was a little reluctant to have her opt in, I realized I also didn’t want her to be the odd kid having home lunch when all the other kids were having school lunch. As she gets older, she’s going to be more influenced by that and general peer pressure. Plus for me, that means I have to think less about what to make that would be easily transportable and eaten at school in a lunch box. I don’t have to think about what healthy snacks to pack her. It’s one less item on our mental load. And that’s definitely a plus. In her backpack now, all I have to pack is extra changes of clothing, her water bottle, and silicone bib.

She still has a dinner with us once she comes home. I make sure she gets all her usual vegetables, exposure to what we’re eating, and fruit she likely won’t get at school (I highly doubt they are going to serve her peeled and pitted fresh longan or freshly cut pineapple…). The last two days, she’s eaten very healthy portions of the veggies I’ve made, and she’s also eaten more fruit after dinner. My hope, though, is that she won’t lose her taste for home food and that she still loves mummy’s food the most.