I became a manager pretty early on in my career. While it began as player-coaching, it eventually evolved into at one point, having 5-6 direct reports all having a dotted line to me. I didn’t really think anything of it, as I always imagined at some point, I’d be in a management role and have management responsibilities. I was prepared and poised to lead, and based on feedback and performance reviews, it looked like I did pretty well as a manager. What I was not prepared for was having people report to me who not only were older than me and less experienced in this specific industry, but also being agist and sexist against me.

One of my direct reports (let’s call him Dave) repeatedly gave me a hard time not only because I was a few years younger than him, but because I was his female boss. He frequently made comments about how ridiculous it was that he reported to me despite having more overall work experience than me (I use to clarify and say that while he did, in fact, have more work experience, he did not have more experience in this realm, and thus if he had problems, he could speak to our team lead about this), how I was a feminist (always with a derogatory, negative tone), how he didn’t always have to follow everything I said. And when he didn’t follow what I said, he inevitably made mistakes. Some of them cost the company quite a bit of money, and for that, our team lead (Ogre) would then drag him into a room and verbally ream him. We had multiple layoffs at this company, and during one of them, Dave was actually on the chopping block; HR confirmed this with me. I nearly went hysterical at the idea of Dave getting laid off due to the timing; we were having a huge campaign launch next week, and if Dave got cut, I’d have to take care of this launch all by myself (read: many, many late nights into the wee hours of the morning being spent working on this to ensure success). I pleaded with HR to either hold off on laying him off until after the campaign launch or to choose someone else. Somehow, for once in my career, someone actually listened to me: they chose to lay off someone else and Dave was saved.

Three months later, Dave, constantly flustered by having a younger female boss, got a new job offer and tried to get a counter offer from our company. While the normal thing to do in a situation like this is to tell your direct manager, he instead went over my head and directly to our team lead, telling him that he had another offer, but would stay here if we doubled his salary (the balls to ask for that, really?). Both HR and our team lead declined, and Dave went on his merry way across the fence where the grass was greener. A few months after he left, we hired someone else who was likely four times as competent and quick on her feet. And she never questioned my authority or expertise.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m all for questioning authority and asking probing questions – in fact, I do this all the time (and have, at many times, paid for it). However, what I am not for is questioning authority merely on the basis of age, gender, or race. Discrimination, much?