In Chris’s immediate family, we all use the TripIt app to track our travels, so we know when the other is traveling. From the TripIt app, it’s clear that Chris is traveling for work pretty much all of this month; he’ll only really be here on Fridays, Saturdays, and partial Sundays. Chris’s mom usually checks in on me when Chris is gone to see how I’m doing, what I’m occupying myself with, and probably to make sure I’m not getting depressed with his absences. I usually tell her I’m doing well — busy with work, catching up with friends, scrapbooking, organizing the apartment, and of course, recipe experimenting. This week, I’m experimenting with quinoa dosa (dosa is usually rice and lentil based, but I replaced all the rice for this batter with quinoa), so she checked in multiple times to see how the fermentation process went and to see what the taste ended up being like.

These are the types of check-ins I like, the ones where my mum-in-law is actually asking relevant questions, curious about my life and not trying to pry or annoy me. She wants to know how I’m doing and feeling; she’s just being normal and trying to show she cares.

These check-ins never deal with dredging up past topics from months or years ago when someone made her angry, or when I might have done something to upset her. She doesn’t ever criticize anyone, and even if she were to, it would be so thinly disguised that I probably wouldn’t even notice it. She never dwells on negativity and looks to the future for upcoming enriching and enjoyable experiences. She even helps mentor less privileged kids and is thrilled that Chris and I do the same. My mom could really learn a lot from my mother-in-law.