My mom is turning 62 tomorrow. I’m not allowed to say “happy birthday” to her since she’s a JW, and her people don’t believe in birthdays, but since she is still herself, she loves receiving gifts, and she indirectly expects to get something around the date of her birthday every single year. Chris decided to send her a surprise dinner from some Asian restaurant tonight (I did not know this), and there was no card that said who the food was from.

So my mom called tonight to ask if I sent her food. My initial response was… No, I did not? Why? She said that someone ordered food with a label that said “happy birthday,” and that if I did not send it, she would give it to my aunt upstairs because maybe she ordered it.

“Auntie Linda’s birthday is not in February!” I exclaimed. “And when has she ever ordered food delivery before?!”

I looked over at Chris on the couch. “You sent something to her, didn’t you?” I said to him. He gives me this funny side-eyed look, and so I know he did it. “Chris sent it,” I said to my mom on the phone. “Don’t give it to my aunt!”

These are all the games that my family plays, and Chris just joins right in.