The hype every year is nauseating. Every time I walk past a bodega or corner store, all I can see are endless red roses, red carnations, red everything. I listen to colleagues of mine who are on their perpetual first date, and they are green enough to want to do a first date on Valentine’s Day. Others in committed relationships stress over where to eat on Valentine’s Day evening. Why are you people going out at all?

Valentine’s Day is one of those over-hyped, stressed out holidays that needs to be done away with. Why, instead of buying all this chocolate and flowers for your love on Valentine’s day, don’t you just appreciate him or her a little bit more every day?

One year, I remember I was dating a guy that I thought I was fond of, but I quickly realized what a miserable human being he was. He got me a small bouquet of tulips on Valentine’s Day. I hated them. I knew I hated them because as soon as I put them in a vase, they immediately slumped over. Ever since that Valentine’s Day, I had decided that Valentine’s Day kind of sucked. I still believe that.