My aunt, who hasn’t showed up to any out of town (as in, outside of San Francisco) wedding in our family, has told me that she is likely bringing her boyfriend of the last few years to my wedding next March. One of my bridesmaids, who is casually dating someone now but doesn’t seem to care much about him, says that if she’s not in a relationship by the time March rolls around, she wants to bring her mom to the wedding as her plus one (mostly because she doesn’t drive, so her mom can act as her LA/Orange County area chauffeur). While I can kind of understand the bridesmaid assuming she has the right to a plus-one since she is in the wedding party, I’m not a huge fan of the idea of her mother coming to my wedding. What is she supposed to do there? Who would I sit her with? I don’t really have friends or family that she’d readily be seated with or even get along with. And with my aunt, I’ve never even met her boyfriend. Not only that, but she hasn’t seen or been in contact with her son, my cousin, since her late husband’s funeral because of a falling out, and to make matters worse, she doesn’t even realize her son has a baby — yes, her own grandchild.

I don’t really get the sense of entitlement here. But I also don’t really know how to say “no” because a negative response will only get a negative reaction. These are the sticky wedding and “big event” problems that I have to deal with now.