Every year as we approach the anniversary of my brother’s passing, I find myself reading Bible scripture. I told myself when he died that one day in the near future, I would have myself sit down and read the Bible as a piece of literature, cover to cover, Old Testament and New Testament. I would do this for him. He always wanted me to convert ever since he converted to Christianity in 2000. We pretty much grew up with a lot of Christian values and read a lot of Bible stories as kids, but we never really went to church growing up. After he passed and I was settling his estate with his State Farm agent, who was also a friend of his through his church, she told me he had communicated many times with her that one of his greatest wishes was for me to convert and devote my life to Jesus. I never fully agreed, but I did acknowledge that of the religions I had studied, Christianity in its most modern form made the most sense to me.

I have two copies of the Bible. One is the copy my brother bought for me and sent me off to college with in August 2004. He instructed me to open it from time to time and read it when I was troubled or wanted to think. The second copy is one of his. After he died, I found that he had two copies of the NIV Bible. I put one copy in his niche at the Columbarium and took the other back with me to New York.

There are many comforting words in the Bible, and many words that can be interpreted in many ways to mean many things. But I do agree and believe in what the Bible says about love. Love never fails. Without love, we are and have nothing. I hope when Ed died, he knew that he had my love even when I was far away. Now, we are physically even farther from each other, but oddly, sometimes, I feel even closer to him now.