Today I was on the phone with my mom, and she sounded pretty gloomy. She’s kind of sounded this way ever since I left almost a week ago. It tends to be a repeated thing she goes through every time I visit and leave. I know she means well, but she can’t seem to get over it that my visits are just visits, and that I’m not moving back into that house with her ever again.

She said today that she was only going to live day by day and not plan anything for the future because there was no point for that, and she has no energy. She doesn’t know what tomorrow will be; in other words, she doesn’t know if she will live another day. There goes my negative mother with her black as hell outlook. I told her that if she thinks negatively, she will shorten her life, and she has to change her outlook, otherwise she’s going to continue being very unhealthy and susceptible to sickness (which she is). She sounded as though she was beginning to cry, and said that I have “no idea” what she goes through every day and that she doesn’t want to talk about this anymore; she just wants everything to be calm and peaceful — the irony in that statement. Then, she hung up on me. Lovely.