I spent a bit of time on Lover.ly and theknot.com today reading about wedding planning, potential bridesmaids dresses that my friends won’t hate, and gathering ideas for everything from place settings, favors, bouquets, food station examples, and hairstyles. I came across an article about how to word invitations and important pieces of stationery when there is a significant loved one who is unable to be at the wedding either due to distance, health, or death. There won’t be any wedding program with the words “Brother of the Bride: Edward Wong.” I suppose I could word it as “Brother of the Bride: the late Edward Wong.” That sounds horrible. Or I could do what my cousins have done with their late father and dedicate the ceremony to my brother. I’m not sure, but I want him to be known there that day.

Ed’s inability to be there on this day will always be front of mind as the planning begins, progresses, and comes to a close. I want to find a way to make sure that everyone at that wedding, whoever decides to come, that is, knows how important he is to me despite the fact that he’s physically gone from my world. Maybe we could create a cake topper with Bart on it. Or maybe we could make sure that we have a mini slideshow just dedicated to him and me.

I miss my brother.