Chris’s brother came down from Toronto to spend the long holiday weekend with us tonight. We picked him up at the airport this evening, and on our way back from SFO to the Richmond District, I thought about what it would’ve been like if Ed were still here. We’d have a packed house with six of us in total, and we wouldn’t even have enough space for everyone in the Camry. Ed and I would be sleeping in our own beds while Chris and Ben would sleep on the two sofas in the living room, one more comfortable than the other since one is far bigger than the other. Ed would ask Ben random questions about living in Canada and Australia and make an exclamation here and there about how brave Ben was for moving all the way from Australia to Canada to live. He’d also ask slightly annoying stereotypical questions about what “Australians” are probably like to see Ben’s take on it, especially since Ben’s accent is stronger than Chris’s. I would probably snap at Ed for asking such dumb questions so much… Because I guess that’s just what I used to do to him sometimes. I am his sister, after all. You can’t be a sibling and be nice all the time. Whether it would be at In N Out or some Mission burrito spot, I’m pretty sure Ed would win the award for the fastest eater. He’d also be the first one done with any activity, whether it was walking through Alcatraz’s prison cells or climbing up Lombard Street. I’m sure it would have been a bit awkward, but then again, everything that involves my family is at least a little awkward.

It would have been a happy day to have my brother meet my future brother-in-law. My brother knows he’d never be replaced, but he’d have someone else that he knew I could rely on. It’s a painful thing to think about what could have been, but unfortunately what will never be.