On the night of New Year’s Eve, I found myself tearing up because one of Chris’s friends asked me about how my family and I were doing in light of Ed’s passing. It was unexpected since I normally never think anyone will ask who isn’t that close to me. She said that she didn’t understand but admired how strong I was because she wasn’t sure she’d be able to handle it if the same thing happened to her brother. Her brother actually came to our gathering that night, and right away, I could tell he was sweet, fragile, sensitive, and kind-hearted, just the way Ed was. She said that she saw a lot of similarities between her brother and mine, and it broke her up to see the photo album I had posted on Facebook of my memories with Ed over the years, knowing that he was gone. She says it’s her worst fear that she could lose her brother in the same way.

Sadly, I know what that is like. That was my worst fear, too, for so many years. And then my worst fear became my reality.

It hurts terribly to think that this has happened to other people and will continue to happen. It hurts to know that hurt itself has to continue.