Today, I spent most of the morning in bed, lying awake, crying because I still hate the fact that Ed isn’t here. I thought about how I was supposed to fly home with Chris tomorrow to see him and celebrate his 34th birthday (which is tomorrow), and how all of those plans are cancelled now. Does anyone else in our family care that tomorrow is my brother’s birthday, or are they just going about their regular everyday lives as though nothing is different? If he were still with us, would they have called him to wish him a happy birthday, or sent him a gift to show that they cared?

Chris and I are going to Jackson Heights tomorrow for Indian food to celebrate Ed’s birthday. We originally had plans to take Ed to have Indian food to celebrate, and we are still going to do this. We’re getting a little cake and will sing for him.

Ed, we’re never going to forget your birthday. We are going to celebrate it every year, light candles, and make sure that we remember you and show that you will be loved forever.